Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Of course my blog is mostly about finance, but its hard to ignore other issues that ultimately affect peoples finances all around the world. When I got wind of the No Wedding No Womb movement I was beyond excited. Finally a day to speak out about the issues we face regarding being unmarried with children. I'm not a writing for NWNW but hey I got a blog too so why not use it as my way of speaking out on this occasion? There are people blogging from every part of the nation about what we all can do about the disparity of single parenting. At first I wasn't sure if I would talk about women and low self esteem, or the I can do it on my own epidemic sweeping the nation. Though both of those are important topics there was one more pressing to me that I felt would hold more weight.
Waiting to long for marriage......
I have had so many conversations regarding waiting to be married that I have lost count. I think I have come to the conclusion that in my circle I am the only person that thinks waiting til you are college educated and with a career is the dumbest thing you could do. After this post I still might be the only one but really who cares??
People say you need to "find yourself" or establish your self first before you take the leap. Funny thing is the more I have the less I want to share it with anyone. But when Im jobless pressing my way through college who has much to share except love?
Without going into all the statistical data, common sense would say why would you even want to spend your college years, sleeping with every tom, dick and harry. We know everybody isn't studying because if they were we wouldn't have a movement trying to stop out of wedlock pregnancies right?? Further more how many years does the average person spend in college, 4 years, 5 or 6 are is it really that easy to wait until Im 34 before I have sex? Oh yes it can be done but how likely is that to happen? By the time Im 30 even If I am the most conservative person I have gone through at least 2 sexual partners and prayed my way or aborted my way out of a child.
I thought the last relationship was gonna be forever but I told him we should wait until we were both "established" now he is gone because my education trumps everything. Is education important? Oh certainly but who said that you have to quit obtaining a higher level of education just because your married. Oh I forgot you feed into the stereo type that you as a woman, must cook, clean and walk around barefoot and pregnant but who is having that? (not me) so I just won't be married but I will certainly make a child.
Its all so very backwards if you ask me. I would love to only have known one love and married that person and have grown with them than to "find" myself in my mid 20's and also find men along the way who didn't give to cents about me yet I still gave him my very best including my womb. Why is young love such a terrible thing? If parents would promote helping young married couples instead of condemning them we might be better off. Instead they say just wait until this or that, or don't make the same mistake I did.
You got into a car accident when, you were 21 does that mean don't ever drive a car?? Young marriage isn't easy, but it can be done. I think if we taught our youth that you can marry in love and young, still have support, and do all the things you would like in life we would be better off. We wouldn't be so afraid to marry and if we knew that marriage was really life long we would take time to pick our spouse just as carefully as we pick our shoes.
I certainly will be an advocate for my kids to marry young to spare them of the heart breaks of waiting, potential std's and babies will bring.....
I will also promote loving yourself, and not settling for something just because you think its your only option. The way we do things now certainly aren't working, so why don't we start to try something new...