Burnt Out

A lot has happened over the last few weeks and I know instead of blogging regularly I am always giving "updates". Certainly life has me currently in a place where at times I am not sure if I am coming or going but im still here. Its easy for me to hind my stresses around everyone. Most of the time I feel when I am smiling around others I give people some sort of hope thats its possible to find happiness. Of course we know happiness is only situational and if you chase it long enough you might end up disappointed at every turn....

Church has been my source of "life" during this time of uncertainty. We recently held a conference that was a huge success and I was honored to be part of the planning team.


On the outside looking in things are great, I have friends and family that love me and a church that I absolutely adore. But on the inside I can't shake the feeling that something is missing. I honestly don't want to go to work each day. Im happy to have a job, but man I hate it. Yes I know we are in tough times so I really should not complain. But when I think about my financial goals, I remember that being able to leave my job was one of the reasons I decided to get out of debt.

Im not their yet and even when I get there sometimes I wonder if my view of my current status will change or will I remain complacent. I have been off for a few days and I am dreading returning to work. I know when I get there its the same paperwork, same people, same phone calls. Swallowing that pill is so hard when you know what you want to do but can't. I wish I could just call it quits, but I worry more about what people will think of me more than what I know I could accomplish if I didn't have my job. I have been in this place before and I remember that prayer brought me out so its what I must do.

Im not giving up, Im just gonna take a break......